I’ve been playing music in one fashion or another for 3+ decades. Yes, I am ancient. But with old age, comes some FUNNY stories.

I never fail to be amused by the different musician types that come our way. Don’t be offended by the word “amused” if you are said musician…I love to be amused.

Amusement is the highest form of flattery.

Isn’t there a saying that goes something like that?

As a teen, playing the piano at church, I worked with a variety of people with as many varying levels of talent as there are flavors in the Jelly Belly Beans box.

My pastor’s wife would have me sing solos at the drop of the hat. I learned to be Johnny On the Spot, Instant In Season and Lori Levelhead.

I played with whoever the incoming evangelist was for that week~ to be an evangelist, you have to sing, whether you can stay in the same key as the piano player or not.

One lady asked me to “fade” the ending…because that’s what they did on the recording.

I can’t tell you the number of people who have decided to start singing before deciding on a key. It’s not so hard to find the key…if they’re singing in one.

And then there’s working with young people and hearing them try out for a choir solo when they really should only be singing in a Very Large Group of People.

The only way to deal with it is to blink very slowly and pray that giggles will not overtake your body.

The embarrassment has not always been at the expense of others, oh no…it is usually my own mistakes that flood me with a red face and splotches. I am not all that, have never professed to be, and never will be. I play and sing decently, but am FAR from perfect. Very Far. So Very Far.

It’s why I like singing in the studio the very best~ I can mess up and it can be erased. Hallelujah. Or if it DOES make the cut, it can be placed Very Far Back in the Mix. That’s always another clear sign of You Are NOT As Good As You Think You Are.

Probably one of the most embarrassing times in my playing career happened last June. I was in Dallas and was with a group of friends, hearing a great singer that I enjoy going to see when I’m in town. Little did I know, but during the intermission, my friend, Allen, told the singer that I played the B3. I talked to the singer during intermission too~ she’s very nice, loved my jewelry and wanted to sell it in her store…hey, by the way, if you’re reading this, Beautiful Singer, did you change your mind??? It’s not too late! But, I digress…

Anyhoo, the music starts back up and I’m enjoying the band and Maylee’s powerful singing…yes, her name is Maylee and if you’re ever in Dallas, you should go hear her…when all of a sudden she shouts, “Come on up here, Lori Sabeen!”

I shook my head, thinking, Did I just hear her say Lori Something?

She’s pointing at me and I’m turning around to see who she’s looking at…where is this Lori person?

When I realize she’s pointing at me, my heart drops and I go red. Because that’s just what I do.

Remember, I did not know Mr. Allen had told Ms. Maylee that I play.

I finally get up on the stage BECAUSE SHE IS NOT LETTING ME OUT OF IT and she points for me to hit the organ and GO. Problem is, the guy already on the organ did not get that memo, so he is not moving. When he finally looks up, I say, “She’s wanting me to play.” Or something else equally dumb and he slowly gets off.

I see his pinky on a G and so I sit down and try to hear the keyboard. I can’t~ the drums and guitar are super loud. Then they look at me and Maylee yells, “LORI SABEEEEEEN!”

Clearly, it was too loud to hear anything correctly, since she kept saying my name wrong. (No offense, Maylee. I have to grasp at any excuse here. Bear with me.)

So I do a solo and play the daylights out of that keyboard in the key of C minor. For all of you who know me, you know my LOVE FOR ALL THINGS SOLO. HA! I so despise soloing. I will NOT have to solo in heaven. There’s just no way God would do that to me. But for Maylee, I go for it. Oftentimes for Nate and the ABC Youth Choir, I will also go for it, but never do I LIKE it. However, on this night, I decide to play my little heart out. For a moment, I think, I might be rockin’ this right now!!! This is going well, this is going well. Part of it sounds super cool. Part of it sounds…well, just wrong, somehow. We play that song to pieces and it is so fun. Maylee comes over and sings and plays with me, throwing in a chord or two of her own…does the hair shake thing she does. It’s a blast.

Afterward, the guitar husband has no words for me. He doesn’t fully look me in the eye. He knows something that has not hit me yet.

Maylee is kind and says I rocked, but I think she would be that way to an ox. She is a super nice person.

The audience has great things to say.

The keyboard player: Nada.

My friend, Joey, had no IDEA that I could play, so he’s all excited.

Allen says, “You did good. Sounded like some fancy jazz…”

That should have left me wondering right there…and it did. Because that night, I had the weirdest dream. In my dream, all I see is Maylee’s hand on the keyboard and my hands on the keyboard. She is playing a G minor chord. I am playing a C minor chord.

I wake up in a sweat. I can’t go back to sleep.

It all makes sense now.

I PLAYED THE WHOLE SONG IN THE WRONG KEY.

I officially have no more credibility as a musician.

I can be amused all day long by others and their lack or even by their wealth of song ideas and musicianship…but I PLAYED THE WHOLE DOGGONE SONG IN THE WRONG KEY.

I laughed so hard I cried.

I tried to reason with myself that at least there are common notes in C minor and G minor…but the reassurance rang hollow.

Allen called Maylee and she had a good laugh. She “says” she didn’t realize it.

However, she has yet to follow up about the necklaces. I wouldn’t be surprised if she never wanted to hear Lori Sabeeen again…anyone who would play her song in the wrong key has got to leave a bad taste in her mouth.

I don’t want your stinkeeng necklaces! She’s probably saying.

Maylee! I promise! Next time I will play in the right key…truly…I promise.

Oh goodness. It makes me splotch all over again. I should have been a car saleswoman.