So we started the topic of smells yesterday…where I told you I smell like a man.

Well, at least I smell like a GOOD man. I had the opportunity to smell NOT so GOOD smells from a man the other day. If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you know that my nose does not work appropriately~ I have never smelled a skunk, for one thing~ so when my nose cooperates in any way, I get excited.

One time I smelled Greyley’s feet and got all excited that I was correct in ascertaining that it was, indeed, the smell of FEET. It’s just big news around here. * She reminded me of this and allowed me to put it in here…and just so you know, it was because she was wearing her heavy duty socks ALL DAY LONG…otherwise, her feet NEVER smell…at least, not that I know about. heehee

In this instance the other day, I was not quite as excited. There are benefits to being short and there are drawbacks. One drawback is being exactly the right height to have my nose directly in someone else’s armpit.

I found myself in this position last week at an amusement park.

It makes me shudder just thinking about it.

Greyley and I have a yearly tradition of going to Valleyfair, our local amusement park, every summer. This year, Tosha and her daughter, Aubrey, wanted to go too…so one day last week, when it was just the right temperature and just the right amount of Cloudy, we went!

We were giddy. It was just the girls. No brothers. Just us and the liberty of riding whatever rides we wanted.

There were no long lines. It was perfect.

Until we got in line for the High Roller…

We had to wait…and wait…and my nose was exactly the height of the guy’s armpit in front of us.

I’m so used to not smelling well that when I do smell something, I have a moment of, “Is that what I think it could be? That IS a really bad smell, right?”

I looked over at Tosh~ she’s been my nose almost our entire lives~ and she was gagging and her eyes were watering.

Yes, it was a very, VERY bad smell.

The kind of smell that is only possible after days and days of not washing and not deodorizing.

This is when I wish I was tall.

Anyway, being who I am and wanting so desperately to smell, I spent the rest of the time sniffing…testing how bad it was and how phenomenal that I was actually smelling the awfulness.

I know. I’m weird.

Moving right along…we had a great time. We rode lots of roller coasters, but there was one that none of us wanted to ride~ The Power Tower. Well, none of us, except Aubrey.

I told her I’d take her on The Wild Thing, but I couldn’t do Power Tower. She became resolute~ she was going to ride Power Tower! By herself. She got on that ride, we followed in amazement, taking pictures and laughing as she was buckled in. She had a brief moment before going up the 250 feet where I thought she might be changing her mind, but that quickly turned into calm joy. She rode that ride and then rode it AGAIN.

We were very impressed.

We decided to ride one more ride before we left for the night…something not so scary, something that we could all handle…we’d had a day of it, after all. Bellies were a little iffy, Greyley’s head was iffy and to tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure I could handle another big drop going 100+ miles an hour…

I had the perfect ride! Renegade! I had ridden it once and remembered it as a very calm, mellow, old-fashioned roller coaster. It would be the perfect end to a perfect day!

Aubrey took one look at the ride and got nervous…really nervous. Greyley kept telling her, “You just went on a ride that dropped straight down and you’re saying THIS is scary?”

Yes, she was.

Even once we were on the ride, she teared up a little and I turned around and said, “I promise you, Aubs, this is the mildest of all the rides we’ve been on today!”

Well, I lied.

When that thing took off, it did not slow down for the…next…what felt like 10 minutes…it jerked, it sped, it dropped, it twisted and it did all those things over and over and over and over again…

I broke out into a sweat and screamed. Aubrey laughed a maniacal laugh. Greyley sat, looking shell-shocked. Tosh…well, I think Tosh was struck speechless.

What follows is the Best/Worst Picture I have ever seen…

We were scared for our very lives.

I had to apologize to Aubrey and everyone else for lying. “I did not remember correctly!” was my defense…albeit, a lame one. Thankfully, they forgave me, but I don’t think they’ll ever trust my judgment on rides again. I don’t blame them.

And I don’t know what ride the girl in front was riding, but she is OBVIOUSLY not on the same ride as us!