It’s snowing this morning. If anyone needs a flocked Christmas tree, I’ve got the hook-up.
I have had the most glorious week. Nothing earth shattering has happened. There has been the usual flurry of events~ going away parties, babies being born (yay!), kids to watch, families to take care of~ but it’s just been extra GOOD.
I attribute this to two things…
One is SLEEP. I have slept this week. Long, blissful, uninterrupted sleep is so unusual for me. I might fall asleep early, but then I’ll wake up several times in the night and may or may not go back to sleep. If I do take a nap, I have a hard time falling to sleep that night. Not so, this week. I wore myself out good and proper in Dallas and nothing seems to be deterring me from getting caught up on my rest. I took naps AND slept all night long for the past week.
The second thing is simply that I have my head back on straight. My thinking is right again. The crud has lifted. What seemed unsatisfactory before now seems actually quite good. I have decided to be happy, content and grateful. I wish I knew exactly how this comes~ all I know is that I have prayed for it and it has returned. Thanks be to God.
These two things go hand in hand because really one without the other is not complete~ you need sleep and you need happiness…without one, you are at the very least, foggy. I have been in the constant state of foggy and funk for a good long while now and am so happy to be seeing my way out of it.
I haven’t even really been able to write about it~ who wants to write about the blues all the time? And having been one to never really be depressed, I haven’t known what to even do with myself and this turn of events.
I’m not naive enough to believe it won’t return, especially with my age and the upcoming things I have to look forward to with womanhood (blech!), but I pray for the wisdom and strength to know that it does eventually pass, that I need to wait it out, and that I’m not the only one going through this.
For those of you who have never struggled with depression, you might not relate to anything I’ve said in this post…this is not for you. For those of you who have, maybe something I’ve said will help. I sincerely hope so.
I told my friend, Staci, last week that I’ve just tried to think of all that is good in my life and even in my relationships~ all that I LOVE about that person~ and it really does shift your thinking when you’ve been in a negative way for so long. Yesterday, it was funny, my pastor basically said the same thought. If you wake up each day and think about all you’re grateful for~ thank you that I woke up, thank you that I can stand on my two feet, thank you that I have a warm place to live, thank you for this food to eat, thank you that I am breathing…pretty soon, you really are thankful.
Even the things that I’m tired of~ like the snow…when I appreciate the beauty of it, such as the flocked trees this morning~ I don’t even feel the cold quite so much.