You know I’m a normally upbeat person, right? For the most part, I can usually put the positive spin on something and actually believe it. I like living life that way. I believe that positivity and a grateful heart about everything can make sadness wash away in the sand.
I realize there are snags along the way~ don’t get me wrong. But, I’m learning to enjoy life and all the beauty in it, regardless of the hardships that are there and it sure does make me a happier person.
However…there’s one thing that is holding me up lately and I’m not used to my obstinance coming out in such full force.
I apologize in advance if I offend you. Tomorrow this will be a lovely place to come again, OK?
Here it is:
I am not happy about Fall and you can’t make me get happy about it.
This is not an invitation for you to tell me all that you adore about it~ I get it, I really do.
I like the beautiful changing leaves.
The excuse for more hot chai.
Happy pumpkins making their way to my table and front porch…
The brisk days and the chilly nights.
Pulling out my favorite sweaters and pulling the sleeves all the way over my fingers as far as they will go…
Morning dew on the windows and grass…
A slight fog over the lakes…
The harvest moon
Apples in abundance
The squirrels gathering their acorns…
Smells of pumpkin, cinnamon and nutmeg…
I see it all and I appreciate it. I truly do. But it means something that I simply cannot look forward to: Winter.
And for that, I cannot get on board with the adulation regarding Fall. I will listen to you go on about it, but I will not join in. I cannot.
This is the reality of Winter for me…and even sometimes, Fall…
Sick children~ this is reason enough for me.
Unpredictability~ it’s bearable one day and zero degrees the next.
Asthma trouble
At least 5 months of snow never leaving…
Seasonal Affective Disorder/Depression
Claustrophobia clenching my chest from the 12 foot piles of snow that build up everywhere.
Being cold in your bones…
This list is shorter in number, but you can feel the weight of each one, can’t you.
I used to love Winter, but the last handful of years have taken me to the dark side~ I think maybe since the winter Indigo was born and nearly died. Winter means being scared about his health and trying to keep us all healthy.
Anyway, if you’re still reading this mess, sorry to bring you down. I just had to get it off my chest. I guess I am trying to prepare for what is coming and need to brace myself. I know I will have to get a better attitude to survive this in good shape, but I am not there yet.
I promise not to go on all the time about Winter when we get there. I will make that vow to you now and really try to uphold it. I will also do my best to enjoy it and see the beauty…BUT come next Spring, I will come alive and in the Summer, there will be no end to my happiness.
The End.
Oh dear. After posting, I came across this~
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but
only what is helpful for building others up according to their
needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
— Ephesians 4:29
Oops, back to the drawing board for me. 🙂