Thanks for the fun show last night. I have some critical advice to pass along to the final 10. I will be anxiously awaiting my free tickets to the final show!
Yours until Simon leaves,
GM
Dear Usher,
You can wear your sunglasses inside. I don’t mind. Just sing. That’s all I ask. Or really you can do whatever you want.
Thank you,
GM
P.S. Feel free to call if you need a background vocalist. I can also whistle…unless something strikes me funny.
Dear Siobhan,
Whoa. Amazing and crazy tights. Nice clothing choice during the performance. You did the right thing to tone it down a bit. Here’s the thing though, I know that Simon mentioned last week that you should just hit the high notes. I want to say…just because you can hit those amazing high notes, doesn’t mean you can let all the other notes in the song go. Also, just because you can screech to the high heavens (and I can handle it surprisingly well! For about a second!) doesn’t mean you SHOULD. I think this was your worst week, EEK!, but I’ve sort of felt this way about your singing each week…that it’s not great pitch until the high heavens’ notes. You’ve got some pipes, though. You really do. I wish you well.
Your fellow lover of fabulous tights,
GM
Dear Casey,
Even though you’ve gotten praised for your looks and musical ability, I have felt like I could shake my hand in front of your eyes and you wouldn’t blink. I know there MUST be something going on there, but just not feeling it. Where is the depth? The smile does help though. And tonight when you sang, I almost felt that you had a little depth. It’s weird because I feel you’re one of the most talented. Is it cockiness? Do you think you have it in the bag? Let the smile reach your eyes. Whatever that wall is, lose it. You just ALMOST did tonight and I liked it.
Um, now that we’re friends and stuff, can I borrow that red guitar?
GM
Dear Big Mike,
You got me at “I’m having a baby.” What I like about you is that it feels like you’re getting better each week, but more than that…when you sing, I FEEL it. You hit all the notes right tonight, but I drifted off midway through…you grabbed my attention back on the last chorus, though. Way to pull me back in. I’d give that performance 1 ½ thumbs up.
Could you use any embellished onesies or ruffled diaper covers?
Sincerely,
GM
Dear Didi,
I really think you might win the award for American Idol Who Cries The Most. I almost wished you’d gone ahead and cried during your main performance…it would have helped. It felt pushed all the way through. All the emotion that appears to have happened in practice must have just all been spent. I’m not sure what happened~ I think you could have done this song in a cool way~ but I’m sad to say that it did NOT come across in the performance.
Cringes & Hugs,
GM
P.S. Does it weird you out that Ryan has a major crush on you or do you kinda like him too?
Dear Tim,
You get on my nerves. There, I’ve said it. Like, really, REALLY get on my nerves. I’m just not buying it…any of it. But back to the song…ouch. I sort of just want to dropkick you for thinking you could attempt an Anita Baker song. You know what? Thumper taught me that if you can’t say something nice, don’t way anything at all. I hope…oh wait! You MIGHT have brought me back~ your comment behind the stage saying the judges could have said a lot worse when all they said were horrible things…that takes guts. I like guts.
Maybe I could possibly come around, but probably not,
GM
P.S. I DO have to give you kudos for making Simon say some of the funniest lines of the night over you. Good times. Sorry to laugh at your expense. Oh wait, you were laughing harder than all of us. You’re just a little odd. I might like you better than I thought.
Dear Andrew,
I have been a fan since “Straight Up.” L-O-V-E-D the way you did that SO much. I haven’t felt as harshly as the judges have about your last few weeks, but have been wanting to see you shine again. I got a lump in my throat when Usher took off his sunglasses, did you? I really enjoyed your performance. I think you’ve gotten gun shy with all the criticism. Let it out. When you’re good, you’re awesome.
It was hilarious when your Mama talked smack to Simon. That’s a good Mama Bear right there.
Your fan,
GM
P.S. You could be Israel Houghton’s brother. Are you?
Dear Katie,
I am not sure why you are still here. Maybe your grandmother keeps forgetting she’s called and just keeps calling to vote for you. (Sorry, my grandfather had Alzheimer’s so I know how that can be). But after hearing you sing “Chain of Fools,” I almost take it all back. You did better than I thought you would and most definitely better than you’ve done for weeks. Get yo Grandma on the wire! The judges are all over the place on this one. You might have lost me again when you said that you were only going to listen to “yourself.” Oh, honey.
Would it be rude to ask if I can borrow your earrings sometime to do a little hula hooping? I love to hula hoop and so do my kids.
Cheers,
GM
Dear Lee,
I am proud of the progress you’ve made! It was a happy moment when Usher gave you props. You’re getting better and better and I am actually excited to see what you will do next…I don’t feel that way about many of the other contestants. Aw, the judges went on about you…sweet. But SIMON…he got prophetic on you and it was a powerful moment! Whoa. Felt like church for a minute there.
You rock my socks,
GM
Dear Crystal,
You are my favorite.
On a plane or on a boat.
On guitar, piano or float.
With the Pips singing off notes.
I hope you win,
GM
Dear Aaron,
I can’t quite take you serious, maybe because it seems you take yourself so seriously…I don’t know. Great voice! Thought you were going to be crazy good after hearing you with Usher, but seems you weren’t in top form for the main thing. I think all the teeny boppers are probably voting for you, though…you’ll be around a while longer, I’m pretty sure.
Don’t get the big head,
GM
Dear Simon,
I think you’re funny and usually always right. I am sad to see you leave American Idol. I’m about 99% sure I’ll go with you.
With kisses on both cheeks,
GM
